The Top 10 Reasons for Writing Poetry
1. It helps me avoid writing stuff that requires real thought. 2. Chicks can’t resist a guy who writes poetry, even really really bad poetry. 3. To try out new word-processing software. 4. It’s one of the latest requirements for buying a handgun. 5. If Howard Stern can churn out a couple of sonnets every day, hey, so can I. 6. As a surefire way to riches, it’s the next best thing to a state lottery ticket. 7. So when I die, they can put in my obit: “When he wasn’t watching football games or eating, he wrote really really bad poems that got him lots of chicks.” 8. Banks accept poems in lieu of cashier’s checks. 9. Lots of other people do it, so stick with what works and avoid the pitfalls of doing something new. 10. Because poems make the world go round. Oh wait, that’s angular momentum.